Shop the Drop

Hey, everybody! Why not put your body in these smart, one-of-kind t-shirts, hoodies and other apparel?

But here's the key to this Existential Garnish drop: it's just a taste of what members get. Truly, it's a drop in the planet-sized bucket of all that is and will be offered here to members. For just a buck a month (or less than $10 for a year) you can access what is poised to be one of the Internet's largest repositories of buyable, human-originated thought, art and design.

So enjoy the sampling offered here. Then consider a membership. It's your instant ticket out of the world's Sea of Sameness and an invitation into the deep end of Originality Ocean. 

Ready to dive in?

Shop the Drop

I can think of one hundred reasons for you to leave this site right now, and only one for you to stay: originality. I don't do been done. So, naturally, if you're looking for done-to-death, Existential Garnish is likely not for you.

If you're still with me, then welcome to the one and only online resource built to garnish your existence: things to wear, stuff to relish, pieces to read, art to contemplate. And, I suppose, if you're the giving kind, stuff to garnish others' existences too. Like the tagline says, it's Everything You Can Imagine. But didn't.

Luckily I did. And will continue to. And you'll find it all here. Eventually. Building the ship as it sails, as it were.

Memberships Pack a Lot ... for a Little
While you'll find a limited selection of my ever-growing output in the Garnish Sampler, the wealth of all that is ExGarn is revealed with a membership ... yet you don't need wealth to get it. A one-dollar-a-month membership unlocks nearly everything on the site and kicks in a 10% discount on everything you buy. Put in a decent sized order any time over the next year and it pays for itself. Same with the $4-membership tier that bumps up the discount to 20%. To experience the "full Garnish," Tier Three at $9 a month gives you access to everything in the lower tiers, plus a monthly exclusive Garnish Drop with goods only available to members at this top tier.

Thir...tieth Time's the Charm
While the creations here at Existential Garnish did (and will) indeed all originate from my brain, the many past attempts to offer those creations are strewn like a wake across the far reaches of the Internet. So if you see something offered here that you've seen elsewhere, no I didn't "steal" the idea from somewhere else. It was mine to begin with. Just bringing it all under one roof. So, sure, you can still shop some of those stores, but please consider joining and buying here, because this is where I'll be offering anything new.

Hop Aboard the Membership
This will be the last public post for a while, I'd imagine. I hope to see you in the next members-only post. At just a buck a month, I don't see why I wouldn't.

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