{"product_id":"socialism™-cornucopia-heavy-cotton-tee","title":"Socialism™ - Cornucopia - Heavy Cotton Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eSocialism™ thanks Existential Garnish for this guest brand spot on its greedy, selfish, free-market-capitalist website. For more information: SocialismInc.com.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThis is a Socialism™ t-shirt that states on the front: Socialism™ A Cornucopia of Dozens of Choices. Because hasn't Greedy, Selfish, Free-Market Capitalism really messed things up with all of its nearly limitless options at almost every price point for practically anything anyone could ever want, including amazing advances in technology and medicine and standards of living that would have been unimaginable before the Industrial Revolution? Who needs that jive! So overwhelming and confusing! Luckily, we at Socialism™ offer another option. No, seriously. In some cases all you get is one option. Because Socialism™ is all about what's good for The Collective. You know, all of us, sharing and caring, and just producing the necessities. Isn't that the extreme equality and fairness that the youngsters (and others who should know better) are clamoring for? So when Socialism™ arrives, we're sure those same folks will be cool with grocery shelves that used to be teaming with a cornucopia of profit-motive-produced abundance and are now faced with (not a cereal aisle but) \u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ea\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e box of cereal. Gluten-free? Low-sugar? New flavor? No, cog in The Collective. You get \u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ethe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e Socialism™ Cereal. Now move on to get \u003cem\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ethe\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e Socialism™ can of coffee. Ain't utilitarianism in the name of mandated equity amazing? Cuts down shopping time to like next to nothing!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is the design available on this product as determined by the collective, and these are the prices required to sustain the collective. The collective has spoken.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd now, a brief bout of necessary capitalist groveling about this product:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd now, some brief but necessary capitalist groveling about this product:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA sturdy heavy cotton tee — medium-weight 100% cotton with a classic relaxed fit and crew neckline. The print stays sharp and the colors hold wash after wash.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAbout the tee:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-weight 5.3 oz\/yd² fabric, 100% cotton made with ethically grown US cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with a crew neckline for comfortable, relaxed wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTear-away label — no itchy neck tag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSeamless body with reinforced shoulders keeps its shape wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIndependently certified free from harmful substances\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine washable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHeads up: the white version may look slightly off-white rather than bright white\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade to order — please allow about 2 weeks for delivery\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, two year warranty in the EU and Northern Ireland\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Socialism","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":47642294026412,"sku":"10931696521967558753","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":47642294059180,"sku":"27037097089491825393","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":47642294091948,"sku":"16714323791281325982","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":47642294124716,"sku":"26745968109765332202","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":47642294157484,"sku":"18732856258356630794","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":47642294190252,"sku":"38327376747822261602","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":47642294223020,"sku":"12994082546409879163","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":47642294255788,"sku":"63800615280413889543","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":47642294288556,"sku":"18840832535445628460","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":47642294321324,"sku":"17373327664540689338","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":47642294354092,"sku":"32212227941686177380","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":47642294386860,"sku":"93150106101299311225","price":36.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ White","offer_id":47642294419628,"sku":"50111569300433747682","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":47642294452396,"sku":"13167891992146349286","price":37.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ White","offer_id":47642294485164,"sku":"12168169828213998744","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Black","offer_id":47642294517932,"sku":"29999062841484632609","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0642\/0126\/1228\/files\/14412350060431639121_2048.jpg?v=1792248218","url":"https:\/\/existentialgarnish.com\/products\/socialism%e2%84%a2-cornucopia-heavy-cotton-tee","provider":"Existential Garnish","version":"1.0","type":"link"}